2013

The Best, Worst and “In-Betweens” of 2013

2013Another year is about to end. Champagne is chilling, parties are planned, and resolutions are being brainstormed as we enter the final days of 2013. Last year was a big year to live up to: In 2012, we had the Olympics, a Mayan apocalypse, and other events to contend with. In 2013, we dealt with annoying politics, twerking and so much more. Here’s my annual Best/Worst and In-Between list to take a look back at the year 2013. 


 The Worst of 2013:

 13 is often regarded as a unlucky number and 2013 had some really crap moments and events. Movie-wise, I spared myself from many disappointments this year. I didn’t bother watching After Earth (or is it After Earf?..Independence Day joke eh?) and I still haven’t seen Lone Ranger (which I heard was decent but since it bombed and caused Jerry Buckheimer to leave Disney there likely won’t be any further adventures). Anyway, here’s some of the worst parts of 2013.

kahn That Not-So-Secret Reveal of Benedict Cumberbach’s Character in Star Trek Into Darkness – ***Spoiler Alert*** The publicity surrounding the follow-up to the sexy awesome reboot of Star Trek claimed that Benedict Cumberbach would *NOT* be playing Khan…but when watching the worst-kept-secret in Hollywood play out, it was quickly determined that was a lie. Benedict *Was* Khan! Not a mega-surprise, but the secrecy kind of ruined the movie for me. I am confused why they forced secrecy. Plus, it was kind of cheesy having Kirk die instead of Spock to mirror the original moment in Wrath of Khan. I really hope that the series continues past this mis-step and shows us the crew fighting Klingons in the next film should it happen. On the positive side of this movie, it was cool to see Robocop have his own ship. I didn’t hate the movie itself, I just felt that it would have been more enjoyable if they just said “Yes he’s Khan. Deal with it!” from the beginning rather than the secrecy.


miley-cyrus-twerk-vma-2013-robin-thickeMiley Cyrus- Is this really a worst? Probably not, she’s gaining more attention than her Hannah Montana days and is at the peak of her career.  I mostly didn’t care about her scandalous VMA performance because I don’t really give a shit about the VMA’s. I did watch the video but when most complained about how sexualized the performance was, I was more concerned about the weird constant tongue-sticking out thing. I think Michael Jordan is the last person that made the tongue-stick-out thing cool, the rest of the time it’s just…weird. Really, the worst that came out of this was hearing everyone talk about twerking. If she wants to twerk against a guy that dresses up like Beetlejuice, that’s her business, but twerking was the single word that annoyed me most in 2013. Oh then she did that whole naked wrecking ball video, but since there wasn’t an annoying amount of tongue sticking out, I wasn’t disturbed by it. Plus it spawned several internet parodies involving kitties, turkeys and even Hulk Hogan. Speaking of the Hulkster…..


hulk Hulk Hogan Sex Tape- Granted there are many, many celebrities that people want to see a sex tape of, but I doubt the Hulkster is at the top of anyone’s list. Hulk Hogan had an alleged sex tape leaked this past year where he let Hulkamania run wild on former friend Bubba The Love Sponge’s  former wife. The guy has looked like a leathery sausage since the 80s…I don’t think anyone really wants to see any of that, even if he gets into a moment of invincibility while “Hulking Up”. I really don’t think even a cameo by Jimmy Hart barging in with a megaphone, or him tagging in Macho Man or an interference by Rowdy Roddy Piper with a steel chair would make it even slightly appealing! If you got those jokes, congrats on having a fun childhood!! Actually, now that I think of it, I think every celebrity sex tape should have Rowdy Roddy Piper interfere with a steel chair! I’d binge watch those all day every day!!


lost prophets Lost Prophets Are Forever Banned From My Spotify Rotation- Hey guys remember a few years ago that awesome song “Rooftops”? Well it turned out the singer is a dirty, horrible, human being that has committed unspeakable sexual acts on children. So horrible, that the police wouldn’t elaborate on it. He literally had “I F*ck Kids” as his computer’s password! It totally sucks for the rest of the band who hopefully didn’t know about it, but yeah just having that jackass’s songs on my playlist makes me feel sick.


DOCTOR WHO *embargoed 19th March*Matt Smith Leaves Doctor Who- I am barely in the Matt Smith era of Doctor Who and still have quite a ways to go to being caught up. However, I know plenty of Whovians that were likely sad when he performed his swan song and regenerated into the next incarnation of the Doctor. Having only seen a handful of the Smith episodes, I immediately liked him as the Doctor. I like Eccleston and think if he stayed longer and benefited from the better writing that followed his time on the show, he’d have been more popular and I of course liked David Tennant, but in both cases it took me a few episodes to like either as The Doctor. Matt Smith was fun from the very beginning. I feel for all you Whovians that sobbed into your egg nog on Christmas day when those all-familiar bursts of bright light come pouring out of The Doctor’s head and arms.


bitstrips Bitstrips- At first it was kinda funny, when only 2 showed up in my newsfeed on Facebook, but then it caught on like wildfire and clogged my feed with many avatars of people (some look nothing like the person in question) in the same situations that I’ve seen 20 times already. Just get a cool artist friend to draw you!


paul bearer The People We Lost- 2013 pretty much sucked horribly having lost many people. Personally, I lost my college mentor that set my path to writing due to losing her battle with pancreatic cancer. On a more national/global note we saw the deaths of Film Critic Roger Ebert, the shrilly voiced wrestling manager Paul Bearer, Sci-fi writer Ian Banks, Tony Soprano (aka James Gandofini), Cousin Avi (aka Dennis Farina), Tom Clancy, Nelson Mandela, the guy from Glee and the guy from Fast and the Furious.


Oscar-Pistorius Oscar Pistoris Scandal- I ran this site for a few years now, and every year I do one of these lists. Even before the popcultureasylum.com days I was cranking these out, but this might be the first time that something/someone that made a “best” last year ended up as a “worst” the following year. In 2012, the double amputee Oscar Pistoris overcame odds and won hearts in the 2012 Olympic Games. In 2013, he might have brutally shot his girlfriend to death. Even if ruled accidental and he somehow makes it to Brazil in 2016, I doubt we’ll see a follow-up to the story that won so many hearts last year.


 

boston-marathon-explosionsBoston Marathon Bombing- This sucked so horribly. I mean these people are just running and then this crap happens?? Reddit also launched a witch-hunt falsely accusing several innocent people when a bunch of neckbeards wanted to play detective. Bad news all around.


 duck dynastyThat Whole Duck Dynasty Thing– Last year there was that situation with Chic-Fil-a that turned into an internet battle basically amounting to “if you eat Chic-fil-a you’re a religious nutjob homophobe that is against marriage equality” or “If you boycott Chic-fil-a, you are a morally wrong person and you make Jesus cry”. This year one of the rednecks from Duck Dynasty had a video leak of a sermon he gave in which he mentioned that homosexuality was a sin and we had the whole Chic-fil-a thing happen all over again. Both cases were highly annoying. The situation brought out the absolute worst in people on social media.


 Colorado floodsColorado Catches on Fire Again….Then Floods- Originally I’m from rural west Texas, but Colorado has been my home the past half-decade and it’s always sad to see towns threatened by wildfires in the summer in this beautiful state. This year we also saw an extremely rare case of severe floods devastate towns such as Lyons, Longmont and Estes Park. Here’s hoping that next year the state doesn’t catch on fire or flood, because it deserves a natural disaster break.


 paula deenPaula Deen- Hey Y’all!! Did you know Paula Deen is an alleged racist when she’s not telling us to add 4 sticks of butter into every recipe? I’m not bullshitting about the butter! Have you tried making any of her cookie or cinnamon roll recipes? Jeez, so much damn butter! I’m finally taking some caution to what I eat these days, but can cookies and other goodies taste better without so much butter?? Anyway racism is terrible and her alleged past slurs got her booted from Food Network as well as her endorsement deals.


rodmanDennis Rodman’s New BFF- Lets rewind to the mid-late 90s: If you were like me, you were a HUGE Bulls fan and probably had a poster of Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen and Dennis Rodman on your wall. It was a good time to be alive. The Trio led the Bulls’ to their second 3-peat in championships. However in 2013, nothing could prepare you to see The Worm (that’s his old nickname) hanging out with Kim Jong Un smoking cigars. Rodman’s a bizarre and often misunderstood creature (especially evident with his appearance on Celebrity Rehab) but paling around with the dictator of North Korea (a country with well documented concentration camps where unspeakable acts occur) is absolutely sickening to see.


 gov shutdownGovernment Issues- It turns out that we can’t all agree on healthcare, but should we shut down our nation for a few weeks as part of a pissy protest? This makes me either a.) Want to vote to contribute to making everyone in power go bye-bye next election or b.) Not vote at all. Usually politics annoy me and it’s my LEAST favorite thing to talk about but this has been an annoying year. Bad form all around.  In addition, there was that whole NSA spying on us situation, and a non-functioning healthcare website. 2014, please be better than your predecessor.


 oh kidnapperThe whole kidnapping for 10 years situation- So this was when a woman escaped after 10 years of being kidnapped by a man who repeatedly raped her and 2 others over several years and kept them locked in his basement. It’s a “best of” in the sense of the women being liberated after years of captivity, but earns a “worst of” because of how low humanity has sunk from this guy’s actions. When he was found hanging in his cell, many thought maybe the guilt of what he’s done got to him, but it turned out he died of autoerotic asphyxiation (look it up on Urban Dictionary).


 

 bronyDiscovering The Weird World of “Bronies”- Sometimes ignorance is bliss. In 2013, I was exposed to the weird world of Bronies. For those confused, this is a group of guys well into their 20s, 30s or so that LOVE My Little Pony. Some even love it to an unhealthy extent. I stood in line behind a few at Denver Comic Con this year; it was weird, educational and kind of scary to hear them gush over cartoon horses.  I love my nieces, but I can’t risk ever being labeled as a “Brony” to ever buy them any My Little Pony toys (interesting note there was a “Human-esque” My Little Pony doll that I noticed when shopping…I can’t help but think of it being the dream girl of some Brony). Anyway all current and future neices will have to settle for Barbie or Dinosaurs moving forward.


 royal babyRoyal Baby Not Being Named Joffery- I really wanted this to happen. Golden opportunity gone!


 

srirachaSriracha Shortage– Sriracha (aka Rooster Sauce, aka Magic chili miracle sauce) exploded in popularity recently, but with that popularity came more production and that caused issues with the neighborhoods surrounding the plant that makes all that wonderful magic chili pepper sauce when they cited fumes from the plant was causing health problems prompting a judge to order a partial shutdown of the plant. However, it’s not overly difficult to make your own if we are heading towards a great sriracha shortage in 2014.


The “In-Betweens” of 2013

Every year when I crank out this list I often find myself with some things that aren’t really a “worst” nor a “best”. This is some of the stuff that slightly disappointed this year but not to the point where I hated it or made a strong enough case to love it. These are the “in-betweens”.


 world's endThe World’s End– Edgar Wright’s famed “Blood and Icecream Trilogy” (aka “The 3 flavors Cornetto Trilogy…as all 3 of his movies with Nick Frost and Simon features the incredible UK icecream treat Cornetto) came to a conclusion this year. Was it as fun as Shaun of the Dead or Hot Fuzz? Not really. However, I really enjoyed this film, I just wish they brought over a bit more of the silliness of the prior films to it. On the other hand this was a very mature and final entry into the “Blood and Ice Cream Trilogy”, some of my movie nerd friends regard this as the best of the trilogy, I just wanted a tad bit more silliness. I liked it just fine, and really wanted to go on a “Denver Pub Crawl” with my friends but after deciding that most English bitters are 3-4% abv and heavy hitters like Great Divide’s Yeti being up around 7%, we wouldn’t make it past 4 places. Either way, I really wish this movie it was a little  more in the vein of Hot Fuzz or Shaun of the Dead. I really think after a few more viewings, I’ll grow into this movie and horribly regret placing it in the “In-Between” column rather than the “Best of” column. Hell, it took me years before I considered Hot Fuzz to be my favorite above Shaun of the Dead. So I think in a few more viewings I’ll like it a lot more. Plus I like that they used this song in the end credits!


 evil_dead_2013Evil Dead- I immediately started to prepare my proverbial torch and pitchfork for this movie when it was announced. However, ****SPOILER ALERT****** due to being linked to the original, I was kind of OK with this remake. In the post-credits we see that the film is a continuation of the Evil Dead franchise with a cameo by Bruce Campbell. Had it not been for the Ash post-credit scene, I would have marked this off as a torture-porn remake of the unbroken original (we see a guy get a needle stuck into his eye, a girl saw her arm off, another cut her face open with glass, ect). However, seeing that it’s a continuation does make me optimistic for the future. I am so thankful that they didn’t erase the events of Ash or recast him. With an announcement of a sequel to Army of Darkness on the horizon (most likely due to Evil Dead fans watching this one), I’m very excited for the future!


 man_of_steel_ver2_boxartThe Man of Steel- Superman is really hard to make work. How do you humanize a god?? This very question drew me to the graphic novel “It’s a Bird” by Superman writer Steven Seagle, which documents his struggles to make Superman seem more “human”. The movie which launched in the vein of “The Dark Knight” films does the Superman Mythos some favors.  However, the movie came off as a bit stiff. Zod was great in the original Christopher Reeves movies, but in this one he wasn’t as authoritative or nearly as fun as the original version. He sorta came off as a video game boss. I did like the Wayne Enterprises satellite easter egg, the Lex-less presence of Lex Luthor via Lexcorp trucks, I liked having Morpheus as Perry White, I liked Kevin Costner as Sup’s Earth daddy and the non-red underwear re-design of Superman’s costume. However, the complete absurdity of the destruction of Metropolis (I think half the city were likely killed), Zod’s “meh” status as a baddie, and a non-nerdy Clark Kent sort of diminished this approach. At least the next film he’ll have Batman to fight.


 idiot abroad 3Idiot Abroad 3– Being a major fan of The Ricky Gervais Show and Idiot Abroad 1 &2, I became a really big fan of Karl Pilkington over the years. However, this last great offering of Karl’s globetrotting adventures seemed pretty undercooked. There were fun moments such as Karl meeting conjoined twins, him entering a “pleasure booth”, and so on. But still it didn’t seem as fun as the last 2 globe trotting adventures. The addition of famed dwarf actor Warwick Davis did little to bring it to the same glory of the prior offerings. The notable absence of Stephen Merchant was a bummer as well. Not to mention that this final round was a whopping 3 episodes…maybe that’s why it didn’t seem as fun, we were deprived of Karl time!! However, looks like Karl will be back on TV soon enough with a new show “The Moaning of Life”.


 arrested developmentArrested Development Returns– It was awesome to see the return of the Bluth clan, but after a long time off the air, it just seemed like it’s lost a few steps on the way back onto TV. Maybe it was the rotating character POV centric episodes? However, there were still plenty of laughs. Most of which were via Tobias. There’s been talk of another season and now that they’ve gotten over the awkwardness of returning after so long, maybe the show will be a stronger return to form next time.


 marvels-agents-of-shieldAgents of S.H.I.E.L.D.– The show started out really fun, but as it progressed, it sort of turned into “meh” territory. When you spend most of the show finding sexual enuendos, as I have spent its run thus far doing when watching it with one of my friends; you know they aren’t going with their full potential. Luckily and hopefully, the show just wrapped its mid-season break. Here’s hoping they spend some of that break tweaking the show. I really want to see this continue with more Marvel-inspired awesomeness. I still have faith in you S.H.I.E.L.D.!


 wwzWorld War Z- Every sign of this movie pointed to absolute failure. 2 years ago I was traveling around the UK and caught word that a week prior to my arrival that they were filming in Glasgow. Then the movie was delayed. When the trailer finally hit it looked like it was going to be an absolute train wreck. However, a buddy of mine borrowed the book from me and wanted to see it really bad and I begrudgingly went. To my surprise, it was actually pretty decent. Of course the only similarity between the book and movie is the title, but none-the-less it was a decent flick. I really like when I expect something to suck terribly, only to be pleasantly surprised.


The BEST of 2013

We just explored the worst and kinda bad/Kinda good moments of 2013, but it wasn’t all that bad. Here’s some of the best parts of 2013.

 patrick stewart ianMagneto and Professor X are Friends In Real Life!!!- It’s always somewhat sad to see on-screen duos not really like each other when the cameras are not rolling. From the actors portraying R2-D2 and C3PO to Kenan and Kel to Jamie and Adam from Mythbusters, usually beloved duos aren’t as close in real life. However geeks around the globe were thrilled to see that X-men co-stars Ian McClellan and Patrick Stewart are best friends! 2013 saw Stewart wed with McClellan officiating the wedding, to the awesome duo spending holidays together and simply just hanging out. This made my geek heart happy to see these two as buddies!


jurassicparkposterJurassic Park 3D!- I don’t like 3D. It’s gimmicky. You wear uncomfortable glasses. If you take them off, the screen looks like a squiggly line shit storm. Also you pay extra to see the movie. Jurassic Park celebrated it’s 20th anniversary this year with a high definition 3D limited re-release. I set aside my 3D hatred and relived that time I was 9 years old and fell in love with the movie all over again…actually, I never fell out of love with it, but it seemed like I was watching it for the first time again despite the hundreds of times I’ve seen it since. I think that it was the most fun I’ve ever had watching something in 3D. Not only was the high-def conversion great; scenes such as the T-rex escape and the jeep-in-tree sequence were absolutely fantastic in 3D!! I will never intentionally buy a 3D TV nor actively go for a 3D film at the theater, but to see my absolute favorite movie in a new way was such a fantastic treat!


whose-line-is-it-anyway00Whose Line is It Anyways Returns- I didn’t really realize how much I missed this show until it had a return this year on the CW. Much of the magic is back from the show’s Drew Carrey run along with new segments and a decidedly edgier approach. Welcome back!


 smaugSmaug Showed His Wonderful Scaly Face on the Big Screen- Since announcing The Hobbit, I’ve been looking forward to seeing the meeting between Bilbo Baggins and Smaug on the big screen. Smaug didn’t disappoint in the slightest bit. Add in a bit of cool Bennedict Cumberbatch voicework and making Smaug be the coolest movie monster this side of Jurassic Park’s T-Rex, I left The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug a very happy camper. They also made Evangeline Lilly, best known as Kate from Lost an Elf warrior…but not an annoying elf warrior like if the character of Kate was an elf warrior. The river barrel escape from the wood elves was nearly as fun as seeing Smaug as well. Good fun all around!


 SUPERIOR-SPIDER-MAN-5-Cover1Doc Ock is a Superior Spider-Man- Last Christmas, Dan Slott gave us a horrible gift and made many web-heads sad by killing off Peter Parker when his long time nemesis Doc Ock swaped bodies and killed his “old” self (which Peter Parker was trapped inside of) in a final battle. However in the final moments of that battle, Ock sees things from Peter’s side and promises to be a better Superior Spider-man. Since then, we’ve seen Ock living life as Peter Parker and Spider-man and engaging in feuds with Hobgoblin, Venom, and others. It’s been a fun read, but like other Spidey-fans we’re expecting Peter to return to the steering wheel by the time Amazing Spider-man 2 comes out. Plus nobody stays dead in comics, we just recently saw Nightcrawler make a return after a 3 year death.


office The Shows We Said Goodbye To- After nearly a decade of laughs (most during the Steve Carrel era and few and far between after he left), The Office finally ended its run this year. While the show’s been in its zombie years the last 2 seasons, and characters such as Ryan and Kelly being written off, it was well past time to put the show to an end. The finale gave nearly everyone a happy ending and we even got to see Michael Scott one last time. 2013 also marked the last time we’ll see the Planet Express crew (although to be fair, we’ve said goodbye to Futurama at least 3 times now), Walter White (I’m only on Season 4…catching up), the gang from 30 Rock,Kenny Powers and we had a fitting farewell to Fringe (thankfully with a final appearance by the observer we know as October). Some were definitely sad to see go, but fear not, next year we’ll at least see some old friends return for Girl Meets World.


red weddingThe Red Wedding!!!! (and Other Things)- OK, it’s been months and if you cared the slightest bit about Game of Thrones you’ve probably seen the shocking Red Wedding play out by now! If not, you don’t deserve a spoiler alert tag!! I want to talk about it now!!

Anyway, what may be the most shocking moment in the Game of Thrones series finally got its big moment on the TV screen. Readers have been warning us since the beheading of Ned Stark that we’re in for a real shock when the Red Wedding finally happens. I try to not read the books past the pace of the TV show to stay surprised but I’ve known about the Red Wedding for at least 3 years since I stumbled across A Wiki of Ice and Fire and used it to look up the character of Walder Frey since I couldn’t remember the name of the character Mr Filtch from Harry Potter played in the show. That was the day that I learned to not ever look up Game of Thrones on the internet. Still, even with the knowledge of what was to happen, it was a very brutal scene to see the deaths of Rob Stark, Lady Stark and Grey Wind (Rob’s badass direwolf) in one episode. In a lot of ways, we’ve spent the last 2 seasons to really come to like Rob Stark. I’d argue that he’s more likable than Ned Stark til his betrayal and untimely death.

Grey Wind’s death probably was the worst sucker punch as it looked like he was about to be freed by Arya to maul everyone but was gunned down by several arrows while he was trapped and defenseless in a stable….I really want to go hug a wolf now having that scene replay in my head.

I heard rumors that it gets better for the Starks and I really hope to see the house of Lannister crumble!!…Actually they should spare Tyrion…and maybe Jamie, because for some reason he was super-likable this season. It made me feel dirty to cheer for him.


 metallica-antarcticaMetallica plays Antarctica!!- I swear this band is the real world version of Dethklok. Playing a rock concert in one of the most frigid and isolated places on the planet for a room full of scientists is BRUTAL!! Also they announced they’ll be entering the studio to make a follow-up for Death Magnetic, which would mean hopefully a US Tour!! They’ve spent the last 3-4 years only doing some US shows and a lot of global shows. As a Met-fan, I’m excited!


 evil dead musicEvil Dead: The Musical- I know this has been around for a few years and after its initial run in Vancouver it’s been passed on to other theater companies that make their own productions of it. However, it did come to Denver and I finally got to see a performance so it was new to me. It was a lot of fun and definitely worth catching if it’s being performed in your city in the near future. I don’t think I ever had so much fun watching a play. I was a few rows behind the designated “blood splash zone” and still got “blood” on me, but I wasn’t even mad!


Iron-Man-3-skyfallIron Man 3- This was the first Iron Man film to not be directed by Jon Favreau (he still showed up as Happy Hogan), but being a fan of Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang, I loved that Shane Black came in and brought some of that humor over to Iron Man. Tony Stark wasn’t in the suit much this movie, but seeing him be a jerk to a 10 year old was hilarious and a great wrap to the Iron Man Trilogy (assuming that beyond the upcoming Avengers films that RDJ won’t return as Tony Stark…which would be crazy b/c he’s pitch-perfect for the role).  Either way, this was a fun film and an improvement on Iron Man 2.


 walking deadWalking Dead Gives Us a Crappy Showdown Between Woodbury & The Prison…But Then Makes Up For It- I was pretty annoyed with how Walking Dead ended Season 3. As a reader of the comic/graphic novel, I was extremely stoked to see the prison, Woodbury and the Governor all appear on the show. It’s not exactly a spoiler to say that in the graphic novel that’s when the shit hits the fan BIG TIME!! Shocking deaths, lots of losses, the whole nine yards! However, when it came to the showdown on the TV show it was a very anti-climatic ending to an otherwise incredible season. I was so disenchanted that I even stopped watching the show live or “next day” when it returned a few months ago. However, whoever is running things now pulled out the midseason finale by pitting Rick’s merry gang of people at the prison and Woodbury vs. the Governor for Round 2. Fortunately, Round 2 played out a lot closer to how the comic/graphic novel went down. I’m proud to say they won me back as a fan with that. I had my doubts when much of the first part of the season centered on a pacifist Rick Grimes and an outbreak of influenza. By bringing back the Gov for a showdown, I was a very happy camper! I looked forward to that showdown 3 years ago when the show was first announced. I’m glad it finally played out the right way (all the while sparing Tyreese from his graphic novel fate).


 axe copAXE COP!!!– I love the hell out of the Axe Cop web comic series. It’s definitely a favorite of mine and I was thrilled to meet co-creator Ethan Nicole at Denver Comic-Con last year (He dialed his little brother and fellow Axe Cop co-creator Malachi during his panel). The TV show is a great way to see some of those panels brought to life, especially Axe Cop’s American Revolution period ancestor Book Cop fighting the evil King of England! I do feel that a lot of the originality has been compromised for TV, but none-the-less hearing Nick Offerman (aka Ron Swanson) as Axe Cop has been a delight and giving mostly minor characters such as Gray Diamond bigger roles have been fun to see.  I’m not sure how the ratings have been, especially after it returned from a short break being lumped into a programming block with High School USA. But I hope it sticks around. I just want them to hurry up and make Flute Cop into Dinosaur Soldier already!


pacific Pacific Rim- This movie was kind of dumb but really awesome!! On paper it really does sounds dumb: Giant Monsters start to destroy the world, so the human race decides to build giant robots to fight them! However, on-screen…IT WAS AWESOME!!! If you overlook how expensive it would be to make the robot fighters, or how they didn’t realize until halfway into the movie that the robots have swords that they could use when fighting, or how Independence Day-esque the pump-up speech was. It was a lot of big dumb explosive fun (c’mon using a ship as a baseball bat to hit a Kaiju?? That was awesome!) I’m fully supportive if they want to give us more in the future! We need more movies like this that we can turn off the thinking cap and enjoy all the explosions.


sharknado Sharknado- 2013 despite its shortcomings, had some moments of awesomeness. Sharknado is one of those moments. It much like Pacific Rim was just a bunch of dumb fun. But way, way, way dumber fun.You know what? We ate that shit up!!! Plus, it was fun to see the dad from Home Alone save a person by hitting a shark with a barstool! Mixed in with Chupacabra vs. The Alamo (I was born and raised in Texas, so I was required to watch it) made for a fun one-two punch by Syfy Channel movies.


 Vatican PopePope Francis- I’m not Catholic but I love how the new Pope is handling things. He’s seemingly taking out the annoying parts of organized religion that’s turned people like myself apathetic and doing deeds that even militant atheists and believers of different faiths can get behind. From toning down his papal gowns, taking the bus instead of a Popemobile, secretly dressing as a priest and going out into the streets at night,…this is exactly what religion needs! I think religion needs more of this stuff and less arguing which political party God favors or losing a failing battle preventing gay marriage.


 meteorThat Cool Russian Meteor Situation– If people died, this would be a worst for 2013. But nobody did and just a few windows were busted. Lucky for us in the western world, Russia seemingly has dashcams on every single car and due to that we probably got our most documented event of a meteor crashing to earth. Seriously, look up the YouTube videos, they are amazing to watch! OK… they’re sort of scary too because we don’t want a repeat of the dinosaurs happening with us, but still cool none-the-less!


beiberThe Continuing Downward Spiral of Justin Beiber- I may be dwelling into High School territory here with hating on a teenage heartthrob, but it’s been absolutely entertaining to see the self-destruction of Justin Beiber. From spitting on fans, losing his pet monkey, to neighbor altercations, to having his bodyguards carry him up the Great Wall of China, to being filmed passed out in Brazilian brothels by prostitutes, it’s been fun to watch his self destruction.

batkid3 Bat-Kid- I love when I have faith in humanity once again. The Make-A-Wish Foundation temporarily turned San Fransico into Gotham City and allowed Bat-Kid help catch the Riddler. Definitely the number one feel good story of the year.

That’s a wrap for 2013, we’ll see what tricks 2014 has in store for all of us!

 

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