PopCultureAsylum’s Guide To Which Sports To Watch In The 2014 Winter Olympics
The Olympic flame is finally lit and for the next 2 weeks, we’ll be fully immersed into the Winter Olympics. Sochi already has been the center of controversy going into the games with its anti-gay stance, the almost comedic reports of how unready hotels are for the games, and even malfunctioning snowflake which sort of already been made into a meme as if it was an asterisk on these games. However, despite all these issues the Olympics are too big to simply ignore. While the Winter Games may lack some of the fun of the Summer Games, there’s still plenty to get excited about. Here’s a quick look at which events are worth watching in order by awesomeness (keep in mind I would suck ass at any of these sports, but as a observer this is how I see them.)
Alternative: Ski Jump is awesome on it’s own, but Nordic Combined mixes cross country skiing and the ski jump…but with decidedly more tired competitors.
Why it’s Awesome: Jamacia qualified in the 2 man bobsled this year!! Reason enough to watch it. Cool Runnings!!! Plus who hasn’t wanted to ride in one of these things? I rode a bobsled roller coaster at Six Flags once, but I don’t think it’s quite the same.
Homoerotic Alternative- 2 man luge is the same as luge, but with another man lying on top of the other…not sure how that became a thing….eh I guess we can all speculate. Either way, it’s hilarious that this is happening in Sochi.
Insane Alternative- Skeleton. Same as luge, but facedown!! Arguably the scariest looking thing to do in the Olympics.
Why it’s Awesome- Next to Skeleton, this may be the scariest sport as skiers race down a slick course in excess to 80 mph. Plus, there’s some absolutely horrific spills, some already happened at the time of this posting.
Alternatives- There’s plenty of alternative events ranging from giant slalom to super G, plenty of fast skiing action…and maybe wrecks.
Why It’s Awesome: Somehow, curling went from lame to awesome in the last few Olympics. Maybe it’s the fierce sweeping skills that make you wonder if you can take up the sport or maybe it’s due to a lack of beach volleyball and this sport is where some of the Winter Games most attractive players participate. Either way, Curling is fun to watch.
Why It’s Awesome: Hockey’s a pretty big deal in the Olympics. It’s always worth watching just in case of another “Miracle on Ice” situation comes up. Although a lot of the big time NHL players more or less come from Canada these days.
Alternative: Freestyle skiing. All the cool sick tricks as snowboarding but with skis flying in various directions.
Why It’s Awesome: It’s basically Motocross but with skiers instead. Lots of cool jumps, plus it is a very fast event to watch if you have things to do.
Less Exciting Alternative: Cross-Country Skiing. It’s basically the Winter Olympic’s version of the Marathon, but with decidedly less Nigerians and more Norwegians.