Jurassic Park

Bad-Ass Movie Hall of Fame:

Jurassic Park

I love the hell out of Jurassic Park. It’s hands down my favorite movie and despite being almost 20 somewhat years after I first saw it in theaters, the magic of the movie has not yet worn off on me…and I’m not alone. This movie is comparable to Star Wars when it comes to having dedicated fan bases. So naturally, this amazing film deserves to be in our PopCultureAsylum’s Bad-Ass Movie Hall Of Fame. Here are a few random things that make this movie awesome (besides the fact that it’s freakin Jurassic Park!!!)

Stan Winston’s Dinosaurs– When it comes to awesome movie icons (that aren’t human), Stan Winston was the go-to guy. His team made the Terminator cyborgs, the aliens from the Alien franchise, Predator, and then every dinosaur in this movie. Even with the advances in CGI, you got to respect the craftsmanship that went into making the dinos.  Even though a lot of CGI (which was groundbreaking at the time and still holds the test of time unlike the Star Wars prequel scenes involving Yoda), there were several scenes using real life sized dinosaur props. This is how the T-rex looked!!!

The Score- I have to admit as an uncultured heathen I find instrumentals boring and unless it’s got an electric guitar or drums I’m not really into it. But the soundtrack to this movie is one that I keep in pretty regular rotation when driving…it soothes me. Plus it makes your heart jump for joy with the main theme fanfare. Now if you really want to hear the theme played out as heavenly as possible (after reading this of course) you should check it out slowed down.

The Merchandise- Holy cow!! Aside from Star Wars, there hasn’t really been a movie with such awesome action figures. I had dinosaurs as a kid before the movie, but damn, the toys that came out with the movie were awesome! From screaming dinos, to dinos that would have sides detach for “dino damage” all the way to the T-Rex which both made stomping sounds AND roared these toys were a highlight of childhood.

Kids that weren’t too annoying- Spielberg likes putting kids in his movies (even his Twilight Zone Movie segment was all about kids). Anyway, the point is that most movies that have too much focus on kids usually suck (Star Wars ep 1). However, the kids were annoying in small doses and nearly get eaten by Velociraptors so they turned out being OK.

The Cast: no matter how hard they try, only Wayne Knight and Samuel L. Jackson are the only people in this movie that managed to not be typecast in my mind as to being “from Jurassic Park”.  It’s not a bad thing, there’s no wrong in being associated with Jurassic Park. Speaking of Wayne Knight….

NEWMAN IS IN IT!!!- In this movie Newman goes by the name Dennis Nedry, but he’s very much Isla Nublar ‘s version of Newman from Seinfeld. Nedry pretty much sounds like he made some poor investments (possibly on Butterfinger candy bars). Anyway Nedry is broke, John Hammond doesn’t give him a 60% pay raise and he resorts to trying to steal embryos to help a company play a little catch up with dino-making. So as you can see, Nedry is quite the pain, not to mention he makes a guy buy his entire restaurant tab when he just meets him to go over the coup-de-dino plans, and I’m pretty sure he racked up a pretty nice tab too…anyway, Nedry knowingly lets the shit hit the fan when he shuts down all the security systems to steal the dino embryos without being caught. Unfortunately, when he shut down all the security cameras and locks, he also shuts down the electric fences that keeps the dinos in and since he gets eaten before he can put everything back on, he kinda screws everything up. Which brings me to….

Dilophosaurus: In a way I was pretty sad that this lil guy didn’t show up in any future installments. Prior to the Velociraptors in the end of the movie, this was probably the coolest predator. Nedry meets the Dilophosaurus when he manages to take a bad turn (perhaps making the same mistake in Albuquerque as Bugs Bunny). Anyway Nedry finds himself stuck, wet and having broken his glasses he’s pretty blind. The Dilophosaurus makes sure that blind thing happens by spitting venom right in the eyes. After rubbing the gunk out, Nedry makes it safely to his jeep….except the Dilophosaurus is the Houdini of dinosaurs and got in the car and managed to neatly wait in the passenger seat for his meal. One moment it’s on that hillside the next it’s riding shotgun…waiting to eat fat guy for dinner.

T-Rex: Despite the Velociraptors owning the show, the T-rex was probably the most impressive. It ate cars like nobody’s business, had the best scene in the movie, and in the end it used it’s stealth ability to sneak into the visitor’s center to save everyone from Velociraptors.  So the T-rex was pretty much the anti-hero of the movie. It killed the raptors, but if you got in the way it would eat you too.

Velociraptors- First you see the T-rex and you decide that she’s the baddest mofo in the movie, but how wrong we were once the raptors came into play. T-rex may have destroyed cars/people on toilets, but the raptors were evil geniuses. Not only do they manage to set a trap for the only guy on the island that probably can shoot a gun the best, but they can also open doors which is a lot freakier than snakes swimming up in toilets on the “oh shit” scale (maybe not, that snake thing on a Google image search is nightmare fuel) . The Velociraptors were by far the dinos that got the biggest spike in popularity after this movie came out since they weren’t as common as a T-rex when it came to talking about dinosaurs.

The Sea Bass plate- It adds zero to the story and this really throws my rant off a bit since I just talked about the dinosaurs, but that looks so delicious and makes me hungry every single time I see it.

Mr. DNA- Yes, there’s a cartoon in the movie, but I’d rather listen to Mr. DNA’s quirky explanation of how to make dinosaurs than any other character in the movie.

Gennaro’s Death: Some people hope they go out with a bang, others wish to go out doing something they love, and some want to go out surrounded by loved ones. However poor Gennaro went out while taking a deuce. Guess you can say the T-rex scared the shit out of him literally. Or he was in a “crappy situation” ah poop jokes.

Immortal Quotes:

“Yes We Have a T-rex”- I just love how Richard Attenborough says this line. Here is what I mean:

“T-Rex doesn’t want to be fed, it wants to hunt”– This is probably the best use of foreshadowing in the movie. Dr Grant hit it right on the head of the nail….but it turns out T-rex did want to hunt…people.

“Uh life uh uh finds a way”- despite not being able to string his sentence together before saying it, Ian Malcom was very right. Those dinosaurs showed the scientists that they can and will make babies with or without penises. (the dinos were all female…or were they???)

“Hold on to your butts”- This is probably the best line I’ve heard Samuel L Jackson ever say until about 10 years after Jurassic Park came out and I was able to watch Pulp Fiction.

“Clever Girl” – Probably the best last words anyone’s said in the movies. Robert Muldoon was a really cool character in the movie and a major badass in the book (He has an awesome scene where he hunts the T-Rex). Instead of surviving (like he does in the book) he’s turned into Raptor prey, but not before he gets a moment to praise the raptor who bested him in a game of hunter vs prey.

Well there you have my rant on the movie. Tomorrow we continue Jurassic Park week at popcultureasylum.com with a feature on velociraptors and how the less we know about them the better off we are.

4 thoughts on “Jurassic Park”

  1. Haha Jurassic Park is my absolute favorite movie too! I just got the trilogy for christmas after asking for like three christmases in a row! Ive watched the first one six times already lol! I have to say that the raptors are my favorite dinosaur and i liked them best in the first movie…. they manage to freak me out every single time! I actually want to be a Paleontologist so i can study dinosaurs. Thats what ive always wanted to do.

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